come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
