so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
