my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
