'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
