White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
