I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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