You can't motorboat a personality
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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