Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Houston, we have a squirter
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
