I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
