I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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