Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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