I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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