he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
