Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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