Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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