I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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