these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
