We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
