I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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