I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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