i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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