So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
