Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
