my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
