her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
