yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
