if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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