And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
