apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
