i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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