Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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