I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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