this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
