You're my little dorito
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
