I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
