Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
