I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
