ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
