so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
