So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
