so explain again why im purple
no
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
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