Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
