just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
