never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
