Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
