I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Someone signed my nipple.
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