dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
This house was built for laser tag.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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