At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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