scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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