I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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