waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
